Carpenters In The Forehead/ The Chauvinist Old Men Try To Exert Their Control (Once Again) Print
AppEd - Opinions and Editorials - AppEd - Opinions and Editorials
Written by Jeff Davis   
Friday, 22 June 2012 11:19

Carpenter_2  Carpenters In The Forehead/  The Chauvinist Old Men Try To Exert Their Control (Once Again)

Dear Cardinal Levada:  I am writing to you because I have an urgent need to know how to be a good Catholic.  I am twenty-eight years old and want oh so much to believe everything that the Pope and you wonderful Cardinals tell us, but I am suffering from a big-time case of pelvic congestion, and if I don’t get some answers, like, real soon, I think that I will burst.

Please don’t suggest that I simply go to confession in my home-town church.  I have tried that route and the only answer I received was to do as I was told and quit whining about my immoral urgings.  I wanted to have a discussion of the nuances on this matter, but all I got was the confessional window slammed in my face.

Father Bill, what I’m referring to is the comment that you recently made about the sexual act of masturbation as being “an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.”  Does this mean that if a person masturbates, he or she goes straight to Hell, as in, do not pass Go, do not collect $200, go directly to the fire-pit Invierno?

I mean, come on, aren’t you guys being just a tad bit harsh with this condemnation of something that is tied to the basic sexuality of humans, and most especially, to the basis of a woman’s fulfillment?

Given that you are obviously a man, and that everyone in the Catholic Church who has any say in the matter is male, perhaps it would be enlightening for all of you to be educated as to the workings of the female body.

For starters, I would refer you to a concise and well-written article on the anatomic and physiologic basis of a female orgasm, to be found in a little known, underutilized internet newspaper called the Appalachian Independent:  “ Dispelling the myths of sexual physiology: a primer of sex education (101)

If you read the aforementioned article, you would undoubtedly be aware that this whole thing about masturbation as pertains to women is tied in with their sexual fulfillment.  In other words, masturbation is the process that leads to the final, climatic expression of an orgasm.  Now, I certainly don’t hold it against you, or the Pope, or any of the other men who make decisions about what’s okay and what’s forbidden, for not being aware of the inner workings of the female gender.  You guys have a totally different anatomy, and unless there’s some hanky-panky going on, you don’t have any experience with what’s down there on a woman.

But perhaps it is time for you to acknowledge the fact that if you are going to prohibit masturbation, you are making it a sin for a woman to have an orgasm.  Us women can’t help it that God chose to make us this way, but it seems only logical that if He saw it in His divine wisdom to make the clitoris and its direct stimulation the source of intense Godly pleasure, then He most certainly would want women to make use of His wondrous creation to the fullest extent. 

In my mind, the bottom line is that you guys just might be stuck in some mentality that dates back to the Dark Ages, when it was claimed that masturbation could cause mental illness and a myriad of physical ailments, including headaches, dizziness, and worst of all, insanity.  What would you expect, I suppose, when the derivation of the word is thought to come from "Latin masturari, of unknown origin; formerly thought to be derived from manus hand + stupr?re to defile."

Please, can we move our minds and morality out of medieval times and into the 21st century? 

I did some research on this topic on the internet and asked Google:  “What are the consequences of masturbation?” and found one rather humorous answer I would like to share with you:  “None, unless someone walks in on you.” 

In other words, there is no harm in masturbation, other than the embarrassment that might come from being discovered doing something which is verboten in the Puritan mind-set of some segments of our society.

But given the physiologic truth that masturbation is a necessary requirement for the female orgasm to occur, there’s nothing that says it shouldn’t be an intimate part of the sexual activity of two people, rather than strictly a solitary act.  So, pray tell, why is that so wrong, and why on earth do you think that God would not approve of something that is done in a loving relationship between two people that brings sexual fulfillment to a woman? 

If you believe the definition of masturbation as found in the on-line Merriam-Webster dictionary:  “to stimulate the genital organs of (oneself or another) to achieve sexual pleasure,” it seems apparent that the male performance of sexual intercourse could also be considered a form of masturbation, given that the penis is rubbed and stimulated until an orgasm occurs.

 So, please explain to me:  Is an orgasm okay for a man, but not okay for a woman?  Or is our Heavenly Father actually a male chauvinist?  Truth be known, methinks it is really the males in the Catholic Church who are the chauvinists, and we have a whole lot of control issues going on here.

When you recently launched a vicious attack on the American nun who had the common sense to write (in a book published in 2006, mind you) that masturbation does not raise any moral problems, it makes me wonder who really has a problem.  Calling her assertion a “grave harm to the faithful,” only speaks to the degree to which you Cardinals are out of touch with reality.  And to have the Vatican claim that “masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action,” leaves you with no credence whatsoever.

I am left wondering whether this issue of control and complete resistance to any change is not rooted in the abject fear of the Catholic Church that, as the saying goes, “if you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile.”  The mentality goes something like this:  if we admit we were wrong about masturbation (or birth control, or equal rights for gays, as other examples), then it stands to reason that we may be accused of being wrong about many other things.  If people start questioning the literal truth of immaculate conception, miraculous healings, a literal son of God, amongst many others, the entire foundation of our faith and Church will be shown to be made of sand and the infallible pronunciations of our Pope are quite likely for naught.

My fondest wish would be for the women of the Catholic Church to stand up and resist this ridiculous stance on the part of the men who control the Church and who likewise try to control the natural, God-given function of the female human body.  But alas, we are only like sheep in the flock, obeying our male masters and succumbing to their dictates.

But allow me to let you in on a secret.  Just like with practicing birth control and having sex before marriage, the vast majority of Catholic women in this country ignore your ignorance and go about managing their lives just fine, and with way more morals than you old men so righteously claim.

 Instead of trying to control women’s bodies, perhaps you should make it your priority to clean up your own filthy nest of pederast sinners and their protectors before you go making judgments against those derived from Adam’s rib.    

Best wishes from,

One of your faithful parishioners who so wants to be in touch, figuratively and literally, with her mind and body.

Last Updated on Friday, 22 June 2012 11:25
Please register or login to add your comments to this article.